Solution
by cg2006
Summary: Hatake Kakashi decided that day was a good day. Then along came two women, and Hatake Kakashi decided it wasn’t going to be very joyful, or blissful, anymore. It was going to be torturous torture.
1. In Which There Is A Problem

OMG so much clutter… TTTT I'm currently, er, well, was cleaning off my desk and stuff to make room for my book shelf. It's er, very complicatied so… yeah. Hey, anyway, as I was cleaning, I came across a million notebooks, lol, and found one of them that had like a bunch of stories I had tried to write… tried. Anyway, here's one of them (hope it's enjoyable and doesn't painfully torture any unfortunate readers):

PS: Warning: Run on sentences… although, well.. okay, not run on, but they are quite long and have lots of appropriate commas. Yeah.

Summary: Tis a lovely spring day in Konoha...until Kakashi is met by a...er, problem, let's say. Yes, there is a plot, gasp, and it is Kakashi and Iruka, but not necessarily KakaIru. Enjoy...or at least try to.

* * *

Solution

The sun emitted a warm, gentle light, as it usually does on days like this one. A cool breeze weaved through the sweet spring air in the village of Konoha. Many women were at the market this morning, and many men were out doing their jobs as carpenters or store keepers and such like that. Kids were at the ninja academy, learning how to be the best ninja ever. Such and such like that went on that day.

That day, a silver haired jounin, a fairly well known silver haired jounin, was roaming the mostly empty street. An uneducated one might have thought he was an old man, but this man walked with the air of a young man—because he is one. He had a hand in his pocket, and his other hand held a small, orange book that should not be read by young children (aka Icha Icha Paradise) up to his face. Speaking of his face, you only saw the right eye of it. The lower half of the man's face is covered by a mask, and the left eye is covered by his headband that confirmed he is indeed a Konoha ninja. This ninja is also known as the Copy Ninja, for… reasons most already know. Yes, indeed, this is Hatake Kakashi.

Kakashi stopped to turn a page of the little orange book that should not be read by young children, but before he read on, he glanced up at the clear blue sky and closed his eye in a peaceful manner. It felt good, basking in the warm sun, and so, Hatake Kakashi decided that day was a good day.

After basking in the warm sun for long enough, he stepped into the shade of a tree whose branches ignored the boundary of the tall wooden fence beside it and decided to lazily drape themselves over the top of it, tickling the tops of heads of tall passersby. He leaned against the wooden fence whose boundaries were ignored, and silently sighed in bliss as the cool breeze reached him and tousled his mop of silver hair. It was perfect, only…

Walking up the street from the opposite direction Kakashi came from, were two women who gossiped loudly with each other. One of them suddenly caught Kakashi in his moment of bliss, and immediately dazed off with glazed over eyes. Naturally, this stopped the other woman as she was explaining exactly why one lady was such a bitch and didn't deserve her man, and she, too, turned and dazed off at Kakashi in his moment of joyful bliss. Which wasn't going to be very joyful, or blissful, anymore. It was going to be torturous torture.

The first woman made an attempt to approach Kakashi. An attempt, because the second woman shoved her, with surprising force, onto the street where the first lady _nearly_ got ran over by a ramen deliverer, who had tons of ramen, on a bike. The first lady quickly got up, with surprising agility, and shoved the ramen deliverer off, and lifted the bike, also with surprising force, over her head, prepared to hurl it at the second woman. Prepared, because suddenly she found that she wasn't holding the bike anymore. Kakashi gently set the bike down and wheeled it over to its rightful owner, meanwhile thinking that the two women had potential to be splendid kunoichi, and also thinking how they both reminded him of Sakura and Ino fighting over Sasuke, and then thinking maybe it was best that they weren't kunoichi after all.

The two women brushed themselves off, got up, quickly turned their backs to Kakashi for a few seconds and then turned back around. Kakashi realized it was for a little touch up on their make up. Kakashi also realized that wasn't the only thing they touched up: their shirts seemed to show much more cleavage than they did before, their skirts showed much more thigh than they did before, and their face… seemed a lot more kissy fish lips like than before. It was almost worse than the jounin's worst nightmare. Then, they talked.

"Hey there, handsome," the first woman purred. Kakashi would have done the Loud Nervous Gulp they usually do in cartoons, but that isn't very Kakashi-like now, is it? The woman's lips puckered up like she was sucking on a lemon. Suddenly, the Copy Ninja saw someone who could be his savior. He waited for the "Stop right there, you evil villainous woman! Unhand that young man!" to be said in a grandeur manner by his savior. He waited, and waited, and waited. As if in slow motion, the savior opened his mouth and said…:

"Hey, that's my ramen, right?"

Yeah, only in Hatake Kakashi's dreams would the "savior" say something even vaguely along the lines of the grandeur lines. The blond, hyperactive ninja was talking to the ramen deliverer who was just on the verge to hop on his bike and go 150 mph.

"Naruto! Just the one I needed to see!"

The blond turned around.

"Eh, Kakashi-sensei?" He waved in a friendly manner. "What are you doing here? Who are those ladies?" Naruto broke out into a sly grin. "Ohh…I know. Hehe. That's okay, Kakashi-sensei, you can talk to me later!"

Kakashi shook his head.

"No! It's not like—oi! Naruto! I-I need to talk to you _now_!"

Naruto waved as he walked back down the street. "See ya later, sensei!"

Kakashi's means of escape was gone. The first woman inched up even closer. Kakashi thought: And then, they smelled.

He tried not to gag from the heavy cloud of perfume cutting off his air source. That was when he decided he might just buy a heavy duty gas mask for these sorts of unfortunate events.

Suddenly that cloud of perfume was gone, but unfortunately, another one of a different scent replaced it. It was much heavier and deadly. Kakashi seriously considered buying a gas mask and wearing it 24/7, due to his newly developed paranoia. This second woman tried to spark up a conversation.

"So how're ya doin', _honey_?" she asked sweetly.

"-_cough_-"

"Y'know you're a _real _cutie."

"-_choke_-"

"Oh, you're one of those silent types, aren't ya?" she giggled. Kakashi wondered what happened to the first woman. But believe it! or not, the perfume was so thick, Kakashi abandoned all logic because he seriously doubted even the Hyuuga's Byakuugan could see through it. He guessed she was knocked out. Maybe suffocated by her own perfume.

"You're so adorable! And I have you all to myself!"

"-_wheeze_-" Kakashi suffocated. But then, Kami-sama must have showed mercy to Kakashi, for he no longer suffocated from the heavy perfume cloud. He cautiously opened his eye and saw…

Gasp! Who could it be?!!! Stay tuned, for the next chapter!!! (there's going to be two more)

Stupid title, isn't it? sigh. Oh well. It was a decent summary, wasn't it:)


	2. In Which There Is More Suspense

Ha! Cough. Uh, still not s'posed to be here. well, i'm never gonna be .. i'm never supposed to be here anyway, but i mean, ESPECIALLY today, since i should be busy cleaning. TT grr. At leeast my bookshelf's in! Yoshi!

Kakashi is kinda OOC, isn't he? I mean, not like OMGILUVFLYINGPURPLEPEOPLEEATERSBUTILUVPIEDAMOSTCUZITSMYONETRULUV! OOC, y'know?

_Recap:  
_

_But then, Kami-sama must have showed mercy to Kakashi, for he no longer suffocated from the heavy perfume cloud. He cautiously opened his eye and saw…_

Iruka in front of him instead of the scary woman.

"Iruka!" he tried to say, but instead started into a massive coughing fit that rivaled Hayate's, and doubled over onto the street. Iruka, being the kind man he is, thumped his friend on the back. Finally, the coughing fit was reduced to ragged, hyperventilating pants. If it weren't OOC for Hatake Kakashi, he would have smothered Iruka with a hug. The Copy Ninja officially declared Umino Iruka an angel.

"Thanks," he wheezed.

"No problem," the school teacher chuckled. Suddenly Kakashi jumped up and looked around.

"They're still farther down the street," Iruka answered his unasked question. "I, er, took you someplace 'safer.'"

"How safer?"

"Erm," Iruka scratched the scar that ran across the bridge of his nose, "down the street, around the corner, and farther down the street? I don't think they were going to go after you. Who were they, by the way?"

Kakashi trudged to a bench and slumped down on it. "I've no idea."

Iruka took a seat next to him.

"Er, thanks…" Kakashi started awkwardly, "for…saving my life."

There was a pause, and then Iruka laughed.

"You make it sound like you were in a life threatening situation!"

"It was!" Kakashi protested.

"And so, you thank someone, who is of a rank lower than you?"

"I'd thank a rat if it was he who saved me."

The two men laughed together.

_-(let's skip back up the street around the corner and farther up the street again…)-_

The woman who had tried to converse with Kakashi turned around and helped up the woman who had been _playing_ faint on the street.

"Jeez, that was so priceless, wasn't it?" the second woman said to the first.

"Hilarious! –_cough_- Too bad we couldn't see his face because of your –_cough_- damn perfume and his mask though," the first replied.

"It's not that bad!" the second protested.

"Dude, Genma, yeah it is."

The two women disappeared in a poof of smoke, which cleared away revealing two young men. In place of the first woman was Hayate, and in place of the second was Genma. Genma took a senbon needle out of his pouch and placed it in his mouth. Hayate opened his mouth to say something, but Genma held his hand up.

"Before you ask anything, it's strawberry flavored."

_-(now back down the street around the corner and farther down the street again…)-_

There was an awkward silence among the two men.

_-( back up the street around the corner and farther up the street again…)-_

"Hup!" Genma grunted as he jumped down from the tree. "Got it!"

Hayate gave his partner a thumbs up. "Let's take it back to them now."

"Oi!" someone yelled. Genma and Hayate turned to see Naruto and Sasuke walking towards them.

"Did you get it?" Sasuke asked.

Genma grinned. "All of it."

"Awesome!" Naruto pumped a fist into the air. "Let's go back to my place then!"

_-( down the street around the corner and farther down the street again…)-_

"Soooo…erm…would you—"

"Would you—"

"Er, sorry, you go first."

Kakashi cleared his throat. "Uh, since it's around lunch time… and—"

A growl from Iruka's stomach interrupted Kakashi's sentence. The Chuunin blushed and apologized.

"And since we both apparently haven't had lunch yet," the Copy Ninja laughed, "do you want to go grab a bowl of ramen together?"

Iruka's stomach growled again. Kakashi took that as a yes.

_-(no, not up the street around the corner and farther up the street again-gotcha didn't I?- actually, let's drop by Naruto's apartment)-_

It was actually rather packed in Naruto's small apartment. The orange clad ninja bustled around, shoving dirty/clean clothes and instant ramen cups into corners and tidied up speedily. Then Naruto served the ramen take-out from Ichiraku's out to everyone as they took a seat around the TV. Everyone included: Sasuke, Sakura, Lee, Kotetsu, Izumo, Gai, Asuma, Kurenai, Genma, Hayate, Anko, Ibiki, Tsunade, Jiraiya, and Naruto himself, of course. Altogether—15 people, mostly adults, crowded into Naruto's small apartment! And they still had enough room to breathe.

"Naruto, will you accept the honor of doing it?" Genma asked, handing Naruto the item they had retrieved.

"Of course," Naruto said in mock solemnity.

_-(at Ichiraku Ramen's)-_

(a/n: **AH FUCK I BIT MY TONGUE!!!** Charli: Dude. You're interrupting the story. Me: Thut. Uph. Innah. Meh. (Shut Up Inner Me) … Eeew, 'the frick is that?! Er, cough. ONWARD!)

"Ow!" Iruka exclaimed. Kakashi turned to him, somewhat startled.

"Bit my tongue," Iruka explained, after a while.

"Oh," Kakashi said. "You eat so slowly though, how do you even manage to bite your tongue?"

"I do not eat slowly!" Iruka huffed. "I just don't _inhale_ my food in less than one second like you do!"

Kakashi didn't know what to say to that, so he chuckled instead and turned around in his seat to watch people on the street, as Iruka finished off his bowl of ramen.

"Ah," the silver haired jounin suddenly said. "I do actually have something to tell Naruto." He turned to Iruka, who was paying for the ramen. "Do you want to come with me…or…should you go back to the Academy?"

Iruka thought carefully for a moment and then said, "I think I have a few minutes left of my break. If it's short, I suppose I can go with you." He smiled. "I haven't seen Naruto for a while, anyway."

The "scarecrow" and the "dolphin" exited the ramen shop and headed towards Naruto's home. It was a pretty quiet yet pleasant walk, but short. They soon reached Naruto's apartment building and entered the door. Then they went up quite a few stairs, since Naruto's was on the top floor, and stopped in front of their pupil's front door. Strangely, there were a lot of shoes beside it. The two visitors looked at each other, puzzled.

"Either Naruto's gone insane and stole everybody's shoes, or he has quite a few guests…"

Kakashi knocked on the door. For some reason, no one answered it. So, he grasped the doorknob and turned…

OH THE SUSPENSE!!!!!!!! Er...haha. Cough.

GAH! **ITAI**! (_knocked out by charli, somehow)_

Charli: get back to cleaning, bytch.

CG: _(cries)_

Haha! Ze Plot Zickens!! (the plot thickens!!) Or does it?

Charli: That doesn't even make sense. AND I SAID BACK TO WORK, BYTCH!

CG: jeez, not even Shikamaru's mom is like that... so damn troublesome. _(mumbles and crawls away from the computer) _


	3. In Which There Is Confession

Okay, I admit: I kind of forgot about this story. (major sweatdrop) But here it is. Hopefully, It doesn't suck TOO bad...

* * *

_Kakashi knocked on the door. For some reason, no one answered it. So, he grasped the doorknob and turned…_

To find fifteen people sitting on the floor, on the couch, and at the table, slurping up ramen. Kakashi and Iruka blinked, puzzled.

"My eternal rival!" Gai greeted, "Welcome to our …ramen luncheon! Have you already had lunch? Maybe you should like some ramen, we have bought extra!"

"No, those are supposed to be my emergency ramen!" Naruto protested.

"Kakashi-sensei, Iruka-sensei! What are you two doing here?" Sakura asked.

"I came over to talk to Naruto about something," Kakashi replied. Naruto paled.

"Eh, um, if it's about that one thing about the water bucket on top of your doorway, I'm really sorry," he stuttered. Iruka was the one who got mad though.

"NARUTO, YOU DID _WHAT_?!!!!"

"Eee! Uh, _Sasuke_ told me to!" the blond cried, and earned a smack from his male teammate.

"Dobe, only you would think of such a lame prank as that," the Uchiha retorted. Naruto puffed his cheeks out.

"Hey, I'm the one who thought of th—nmph?!!"

Suddenly, Sakura, Sasuke, and the other few people who were sitting near Naruto quickly clapped their hands over his mouth. The ones farther away just looked nervously between Naruto and the two visitors, sparking up suspicion.

"Thought of _what_?" Iruka asked in a stern tone, meaning he wanted an answer, and he wanted it _now_. There was silence, and nobody moved, or hardly breathed. Certainly not Naruto, for he began to wriggle around, and shoved the people off of him.

"You people don't have to suffocate me!" he whined. Sakura and Sasuke landed hard on their rear, and the other people flew off to various places. One of them landed on the remote control to the TV. The idiot box instantly turned on to a frozen image. There was another silence, and this time nobody dared to breathe at all, even if they all were capable. Iruka and Kakashi looked long and carefully. (a/n: It. Was. Porn. Dun dun dun….no, I was just kidding.)

"…isn't that Kakashi? And that…one woman?" (a/n: that'd be really really freaky porn. Because porn is already really freaky. Charli: Stop talking about porn then.)

There were various and assorted "er's," "um's," "eh's," "no's," and "maybe's".

Meanwhile, thoughts raced through Kakashi's head like a speedy kunai. _How did they get a videotape of that? There was a camera? But why would there be a camera? Oh crap, they must have seen the whole thing! They're never going to let me live it down! What do I do what do I do what should I do? Calm down, Kakashi. Think rationally. WHAT IS THERE TO THINK?! Did I feed Pakkun this morning? He always demands five star quality steaks. I CAN'T AFFORD FIVE STAR QUALITY STEAK EVERYDAY!!! I'M A NINJA DAM— OW!_

Kakashi rubbed the stinging spot on his arm where Iruka pinched him. Iruka was a master at pinching. It always got the victim's attention.

"So, uh, Naruto. Care to explain how you got ahold of that…video?" Kakashi asked meekly. Iruka's pinch really hurt.

Sakura clapped a hand over his mouth again, and said nervously, "Um, well, it's this uh, really funny movie we rented and, um, it stars this man who looks a _LOT_ like Kakashi-sensei, but it isn't really Kakashi-sensei, you know, and uh—_EW_!"

Sakura quickly withdrew her hand, as if it had been licked, because it was, and wiped it on a napkin she had nearby.

"Okay, Kakashi-sensei, what really happened was this:" Naruto took a deep breath. "IthoughtofthisjokewhereItaughtGenmaandHayatemycoolSexyJutsuandthenwe'dputupthiscamerathingsomewhereandthey'dbewomenandtrytohitonyouandstuffandwejustreallywantedtoseehowyou'dreactandstuffandthenweplannedtopostitonthiswebsitecalledyoutubeand—" he took another deep breath. "Yeah…"

The people in the room groaned, except for Iruka and Kakashi, who were baffled by how fast Naruto could talk and how everyone else seemed to understand what he said (hence them groaning).

"Um, come again?" Iruka inquired.

"Alright you guys just tell them," Genma sighed.

"Long story cut short, the brat ("_Hag_!") thought of a prank that we all agreed would be hilarious to try," Tsunade said. Anko picked up from there.

"We assigned Genma and Hayate to be the two women ("I taught them my Sexy Jutsu!" "Shut _up_, Naruto!") because we thought it'd be funnier than having two real women do it, and it was. I mean really, not even for _Hatake Kakashi_ would a woman put a smothering amount of perfume on her."

"Hm, hm!" Jiraiya agreed. "Not very attractive to have a bubble of perfume clouding the pretty face!"

"Well, we apologize for not knowing how to properly apply cosmetics and perfume," Genma growled.

"Genma, that seriously _stunk_," Hayate coughed, remembering what it was like.

"As if you were any better!"

"At least he could still _breathe_!-cough- Couldn't you, Hatake?"

"Um…"

"So then we saw you walking along and we put a camera up ahead in a tree and when you came around the corner, Genma and Hayate, as women, were supposed to ambush, er I mean, approach you and stuff. And then we'd get the whole video and we were going to put it on this website called 'youtube' or something."

There, the whole story was out.

"So…the two women aren't real. They were just Hayate and Genma?" Kakashi asked. They nodded. Kakashi's visible eye curved upward.

"Well, now I won't have to think of a solution to that problem!" he said happily. _But I still need to find a solution to how I can get five star quality steaks for Pakkun everyday, or whenever he's around. Which is nearly everyday._

"So now the secret is out," Gai said, "Kakashi! Have some ramen! You need to fuel up for our upcoming challenge: Who Can Knit The Most Scarves In Ten Minutes!"

Kakashi sweatdropped.

"Um, well, I already had lunch with Iruka," Kakashi said. He didn't bother to try and get out of the ridiculous challenge. Gai would have been too persistent.

"Wait a minute, _you_ had _lunch_ with _Iruka_?" Anko asked.

"I believe I said that, yes…?"

"WERE YOU TWO ON A _DATE_?!!"

"No."

"W-what makes you think that, Anko-san?"

"Well, it's not like Kakashi eats lunch with just _anyone_."

"I've taken Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura to ramen before…"

"-gasp-_PEDOPHILE_?!!"

-sweatdrop-

"_NO_."

Cough, er, yeah, very strange way to end the story… And this probably sucked, because I wanted to wrap it up as fast but explanatory as I could. I'm sorry. Maybe I might rewrite it.


End file.
